Marriage
When Love, Marriage and Money Come Together
Often, problems ensue when
two spouses
have different financial expectations going
into the marriage. Finances can become
especially troublesome in marriages where the spouses already have financial obligations
from prior relationships. The situation becomes even more complicated when new spouses
are forced to deal with divorce, child support, alimony payments, and child visitation.
Problems can arise, for example, if a person who's paying child support expect a
new partner to contribute more for household expenses; that may come as an unpleasant
surprise to the new partner.
Divorce terms vary greatly. Each partner's circumstances
should be fully discussed early in the relationship and certainly before any remarriage.
Be open regarding the obligations you have with your former spouse-both financial
and otherwise.
New spouses are not legally obligated to support
stepchildren, but their lives will certainly be affected by their spouse's ongoing
financial commitments to the former family.
Partners can become bitter when their spouses pay
large sums of money to their former family while the new household is left with
only a fraction of that amount.
It's important to discuss money matters and obligations
openly. You'll want to know how much support is being paid or received, how long
it will last, and what future commitments have been made.
Make a list of financial goals for the new family,
and share your ideas on how you will work to achieve them. Parents should talk to
a professional regarding updating their wills. You should also checking the beneficiaries
on your life insurance policies, retirement plans, and IRAs.
Communication is the best way to resolve conflicts
over money with your partner. Both partners need to share power and decision-making,
even if one party thinks he or she is better at investing or managing money. An
unequal marriage is less likely to succeed.
Here are some tips to improve communication about
financial matters:
- Discuss your concerns, but do not
confront or criticize your spouse. Remember that you are a team.
- If you have a concern, be specific
about what's troubling you. Example: "I'm feeling concerned about the amount of
money we're investing in risky stocks."
- Try for a win-win resolution of
all conflicts. You may find that your needs are different than those of your spouse; that doesn't mean they're mutually exclusive.
- Lean to empathize with your spouse.
Experts say this is the key to resolving conflict.
:
Do
Don't
